Meet Desmond

I WAS AWARDED A FIRST!

Yes, a first. The highest honour that you can bestow on anybody in life for an achievement that they have worked towards, but it wasn’t for my endless nights of studying in the library at university that I eventually reaped this reward. It was for a daily challenge match that I won on Stick Tennis, an application on my smartphone which takes no skill or real knowledge to master.

However, I’ve also met Desmond. A new friend that isn’t the best at much in life, and perhaps he will not be a person who becomes the CEO at a major global company as he reaches the top of their hierarchy, but he works hard and is very keen to make the most of what he has.

What now?

Graduation felt like the key to great success and a chance to chase that dream job. You know, the chance to make everything perfect at last.

Life isn’t that easy though is it. Nobody can wave a magic wand and make everything fit into place all of a sudden.

It’s a shame though because the light seemed to be at the end of the tunnel.

A degree of happiness

Readers of My Autistic Life, I have been insolent of late and have failed to write any new articles for two months and a day. I apologize, but I have good reason for doing so and I hope you will agree too.

I have reached a degree of happiness in completing an actual degree course at Southampton Solent University.

A BA (Hons) Sports Journalism degree. A chance to wear a mortar board and a gown will hopefully come along at a later point in 2012 if I get the marks that I require to pass the course and graduate, but I have worked incredibly hard for the last couple of months to get all of my assignments completed.

Moving into the friend zone

By trying to gain a better education by studying at university for almost four years, it feels quite ironic that one of the strongest lessons which I have learned is in the art of friendship.

Making friends and then maintaining any sort of relationship is something that I have always struggled with.

Not being alone as it isn’t uncommon for somebody with autism to have poor communication skills, this lack of being able to interact with others is something which is felt by many.

PAY to work or get PAID to work?

In a society where unemployment figures are rising and work is becoming increasingly harder to find, there are alternative ways of developing skills and keeping busy which may keep you happy without the thought of money coming into the equation.

Imagine the benefits of helping others. Ponder the prospect of making a difference and working towards something that is worth a lot more than your next paycheck.

Volunteering offers this opportunity and by standing up for what you believe in, attempting to make a difference to the lives of others or to even try and find a way into a career which may otherwise be tough to break into, the positives easily tend to outweigh the negatives.

An alternative view of asperger’s

FOR HIRE – One bubble which is big enough for one person and a confused, fearful and perhaps blinkered view of the world and everybody in it.

Colour – Transparent.

Such an advertisement seems strange but the idealogy behind the notion of having your own space could be perfect.

Life can get pretty tough sometimes. For those moments, having a bubble to climb into for a bit of peace and quiet on your own may be the best way of cleansing the mind.

Pretty soon after having a good think though, you would get pretty bored though wouldn’t you?

Get your own bubble today!

Surely the time would come to enter life with all of your family and loved ones again? Catch up with whatever you had missed as you were taking a break?

Think about this offer of something that could give you a time to be alone for a while.

Then, consider how some people have no choice to make. The bubble is something which will not go away, no matter how hard they want it to.

It just won’t pop. IT WON’T GO AWAY!

Being able to switch off from the thoughts and feelings of others can be a great release but it’s also pretty isolating.

There is a sense of sadness and annoyance in living in a world which is different to your own, and everybody elses too. Sure, everything looks the same and though you can’t see the divide between ‘normality’ and difference, there is a shield.

It’s transparent though, which is why you can’t see it.

Imagine a world where your thoughts are different from those of everybody else and as for what you look at, things are exactly the same as usual but there are minute details which make them look different?

One subject rules your mind and your thoughts. This matters more than anything else, any other form of conversation seems to only link to what is the main talking point.

Like tasting the hottest chilli, it’s burning on your lips and the desire to extinguish the taste is too tempting.

Personally, sport has this effect on life but this is just one way of being different.

When trying to fit in a world that isn’t your own, building a facade to try and be like everybody else isn’t easy.

In bubbles, it’s fine to do what you want and say what you want. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case as those outside of this little world cannot always comprehend why life is so different.

Like a robot, this brain is wired to work in a certain way.

Just, a few connections haven’t gone together in ways that they should and the electricity hasn’t flowed properly.

When living by yourself, this problem doesn’t matter too much. When with others, the wires fuse and sparks ignite to make an imagination break into a mix of fire and melting parts.

On rare occasions, short circuiting can lead to a complete breakdown in communication.

Welcome to a life of difference. Say hello and welcome the next person that you see, rolling around in their unburstable life.

The loveliest gift

When it seemed almost impossible to approach a member of the opposite sex, for example, and even dare to strike up a conversation or make an appearance known, getting to know somebody and to perhaps develop a friendship into something a little deeper seemed ridiculous.

Having felt a little more confident over the last few years though and having moved to a stage where thoughts can be misinterpreted, those moments of fear and trepidation about approaching somebody do not seem too bad after all!

Writing about love through romantic relationships, friendships and family bonds may seemingly be becoming a bit of a trend over the last few posts that have been published on My Autistic Life but as a part of living which seems so attractive, sustaining a balance between each form of emotional stranglehold can be tough and of course, not everybody is lucky to feel each type at any given time.

This lonely heart needs affection!

Having written about how a strong bond has developed with both my mother and my dog in a previous post on My Autistic Life, love is an emotion that is luckily felt in what can often be an extremely unsympathetic disability such as Asperger’s Syndrome but there are sadly more than one type of relationship and set of feelings.

Loving a family member or two is fine and with reciprocated thoughts, a sense of trust and happiness comes freely but while this brings a content feeling, other forms of affection and closeness are being missed out on.

Is it as apparent to yourselves as it is to me about what is being described here?

My Autistic Life: An information tool or emotional safety blanket?

As a blogger that has shared a collection of personal experiences and media reviews on autism and more specifically, Asperger’s Syndrome, on My Autistic Life since April 2010, content feeling has given way to confusion since my final year of university study began last month.

Now, such muddled thinking is not a result of interest in what has been a surprisingly successful time for online hits which have spread themselves across many of the articles on this blog but instead, clarification of the use of anything that is published has caused deliberation.

Are thoughts and reviews taken as an interesting or uninteresting window into one specific case of life with a disability or can academic thought be applied from them too?

The value of a mother’s (and dog’s) love

When discussing feelings of love and the autistic spectrum in conversation, common ideals seem to describe how such emotions are tough to develop on any level.

Whether they are shown to a family member, friend or partner, empathatic failure can often be said to affect those who live with autism on any level but while this blog writer thinks about the subject, thoughts couldn’t be further from those misconceptions.

Yes, such opinion is merely an opinion but there seems to be a reason for it to be addressed as love can often act as the solid bond in many relationships.