The value of a mother’s (and dog’s) love
07/09/2011 4 Comments
When discussing feelings of love and the autistic spectrum in conversation, common ideals seem to describe how such emotions are tough to develop on any level.
Whether they are shown to a family member, friend or partner, empathatic failure can often be said to affect those who live with autism on any level but while this blog writer thinks about the subject, thoughts couldn’t be further from those misconceptions.
Yes, such opinion is merely an opinion but there seems to be a reason for it to be addressed as love can often act as the solid bond in many relationships.
Do autistic people have the potential to show loving feeling?
On the whole, this is perfectly possible. Difference may depend on the severity of the disability from the spectrum – Asperger’s Syndrome in my case – but articles that can be found through various websites tend to offer differing views on the subject with a mix of positive and negative results.
In myself, love has always provided a bit of a mixed bag as its easier to show emotion to certain people rather than others but throughout life, one person and one animal have acted as a constant source of comfort.
Meet my mother and my dog, their names being something that I won’t be including for their privacy but hopefully this mention will do them a level of justice which they deserve!
Why I love my mother
Having acted as the one person that has dealt with the transition from childhood to adulthood, many people would have found it tough to bring up a teenager which had many problems with life.
Should it be bullying at school, learning to deal with Asperger’s or leaving home to chase dreams of graduating from university that have acted as stumbling blocks, keeping the faith has always been important and as a loving mother, support has always been strong.
From giving advice to offering a hug when they are needed more than anything else, showing feelings can be tough but a bond that has gone through many events in life has made the idea of showing love an easy one.
Understandably, affection may be something where some people with autism could struggle but it really isn’t a problem which is apparent through everybody.
By knowing somebody for 24 years, almost 25 as mid-October draws ever nearer, openly showing loving feelings through hugs and the utterance of “I love you” are moments which come naturally and I’m sure that this is a blessing but its something I’ve always enjoyed doing.
Furthermore, doing so is a pleasure rather than a mere turn of phrase.
Strangely enough, emotions like this are second-nature to show with my mom but in choosing from the aforementioned list of relationships at the beginning of this post, heart spills are near impossible to share with friends or partners – this being something which has never been possible as there have been no serious relationships on a romantic level.
Considering these shortfalls, love could be a feeling that is only made for certain people but occasionally, canine friends too.
Dogs are pretty awesome too
I adore the parent who bought up three boys and one girl on her own but there is another source of affection that gets fussed at regular times.
See that pooch on the photograph? She’s fantastic.
She may not be able to speak, shake hands or carry out any human functions but company and an adorable face have made her an extremely important member of the family.
These features alone have made for a platform where empathy can shine once again, something which appears to show that members of the family offer a safer haven for emotion than those who are not known or understood to similar levels.
Spending a decade in the company of a pet has developed thoughts of comfort that were previously felt with only my mother.
This makes the connection feel special and whether its through playing, feeding or relaxing with her at the end of a long day, cuddles and the occasional stroke have bought the dog into an environment where love isn’t just felt on a personal level but throughout everybody in the household.
Needless to say, living away at university can be tough as two vital supports are missing but when a time comes to spend time with two of the most lovable people in my world, everything feels perfect again despite any problems that may be going on elsewhere.